EPISODE 14: “Making Up Is Hard To Do” AWARDS: +5 BEST LINE: Brittany: “I cannot let Cruz be anything like you, and you should feel the same way.” +5 MOST UNHINGED: Janet and Jason double award: He never said “fuck” in front of Janet before getting this dumb tattoo??? What?! +5 TOOK MOST SHIT: Janet: […]

EPISODE 13: “The Cruise From Hell” AWARDS: +5 BEST LINE: Kristen: “You’re a fucking fan, bitch.” +5 MOST UNHINGED: Luke. That boat outfit. +5 TOOK MOST SHIT: Danny. He has apologized and taken accountability, but can’t seem to escape his actions. Not to mention, it seems as though most of the group doesn’t like him […]

EPISODE 12: “Will You Maui Me?” AWARDS: +5 BEST LINE: Luke: “Kristen not wanting to shower was not on my radar.” +5 MOST UNHINGED: Jesse wanting to order 500 white roses, 500 hibiscus petals, 5000 white flowers, 1000 hibiscus flowers asap… while being broke. +5 TOOK MOST SHIT: Janet. It would have been Aaron if […]

EPISODE 11: “El Coyote Ugly” AWARDS: +5 BEST LINE: Janet: “SEE YA!!! Get your to-go box! BYE!!!” +5 MOST UNHINGED: Jesse’s men’s group! Yikes! +5 TOOK MOST SHIT: Janet. No one likes her. +5 MVP, FOR DOING THE MOST: Nia. Planning trips, supporting friends, crying, arguing, storming out, and even some SHADE! Go Nia! +5 […]

EPISODE 10: “You’ve Been Served” AWARDS: +5 BEST LINE: Jax: “it’s my show. My show. My show. My show, not yours.” Zack: “It wasn’t for the past 30 days.” +5 MOST UNHINGED: Jax. For the entire fucking episode. But my favorite is that he fucked up the Naked Gun ref on his IG burner. +5 […]

EPISODE 9: “When One Door Forecloses” AWARDS: +5 BEST LINE: Zack: “Scheana’s like Kevin Bacon – it’s always one degree of Scheana Shay.” +5 MOST UNHINGED: Jax. For how he’s operating finances — like, selling Brittany’s Jenny Craig bags on eBay for $30, OR being $1.2 million fucking dollars in tax debt. Yikes! +5 TOOK […]

EPISODE 8: “The Biggest Snake in the Grass” AWARDS: +5 BEST LINE: Jasmine: “You are a vibe killer, you’re exhausting, you give Karen energy and I’m fuckin done with it.” +5 MOST UNHINGED: Danny. For yelling out “Kelly Clarkson” during his lymphatic massage. +5 TOOK MOST SHIT: Janet. Everyone hates her, Jasmine abandoned their 8 […]

EPISODE 7: “Ring Around the Rumor” AWARDS: +5 BEST LINE: Jesse: “Calling Michelle a lying, cheating, whore is a moment of weakness. The truth is, she’s a liar and a cheater, but she doesn’t deserve to be called a whore.” +5 MOST UNHINGED: Jax. For renting an apartment next to Tom Schwartz while he has […]

EPISODE 6: “Behind Closed Pantry Doors” AWARDS: +5 BEST LINE: “I don’t know if I’ve ever had caviar.” “It’s like salty balls”. Shared award splits in half, rounded up. +5 MOST UNHINGED: Janet: For that truly diabolical, wildly passive aggressive, toxic, fake “you can lean on me” BS at that apology dinner. Extra unhinged for […]

EPISODE 5: “Grapes of Wrath” AWARDS: +5 BEST LINE: Luke: “Never been to Monet… but it’s gorgeous.” +5 MOST UNHINGED: Jesse. In fact, not a moment of hinged. +5 TOOK MOST SHIT: Michelle. See above; Jesse Most Unhinged. +5 MVP, FOR DOING THE MOST: Zack. For being our messy Greek Chorus, keeping things interesting outside […]

EPISODE 4: “The Circle of Strife” AWARDS: +5 BEST LINE: Janet: “Honestly, if I was married to you, I would be cheating on you, too.” +5 MOST UNHINGED: Jesse and HIS UNDERWEAR. Hard to beat Jax rage texting from rehab, but here we are. +5 TOOK MOST SHIT: Jesse. Does anyone like him outside of […]

EPISODE 3: “The Billionaire and the Boy’s Chat” AWARDS: +5 BEST LINE: Danny: “I am not the mole… but, in this instance, I did do some mole-like activity.” +5 MOST UNHINGED: Jesse: for pretty much all of his behavior throughout the entire episode, including (but not limited to): the honey allegations, the hooker rumors he […]

EPISODE 2: “Checking In” AWARDS: +5 BEST LINE: Honorable mention goes to Scheana for “The guy from Baywatch”, but because no one currently has her on their roster, I’m giving it to Jax. +5 MOST UNHINGED: Jax for being an unhinged liar face who had the audacity to seriously ask, “What about me? Nobody checks […]

EPISODE 1: “Separation Anxiety” AWARDS: +5 BEST LINE: Janet: “I’m sorry that I roped you in with Zack’s demonic behavior.” +5 MOST UNHINGED: Danny for that truly insane, unhinged laugh he burst into after saying: “We’re too blessed to be stressed”. +5 TOOK MOST SHIT: Jax. And he deserved it. +5 MVP, FOR DOING THE […]