CLEARING LISTS

    underBlog

    EPISODE 11:

    “El Coyote Ugly”

    AWARDS:

    +5 BEST LINE:

    • Janet: “SEE YA!!! Get your to-go box! BYE!!!”

    +5 MOST UNHINGED:

    • Jesse’s men’s group! Yikes!

    +5 TOOK MOST SHIT:

    • Janet. No one likes her.

    +5 MVP, FOR DOING THE MOST:

    • Nia. Planning trips, supporting friends, crying, arguing, storming out, and even some SHADE! Go Nia!

    +5 LVP, FOR DOING THE LEAST:

    • Jasmine. She barely spoke.

    THOUGHTS:

    First and foremost, I’m starting a petition to rename “Karen’s”, “Janet’s“. The girl is simply miserable and is ironically the only one keeping the rumors about Jason’s wedding ring alive. While part of me appreciates Jason’s loyalty to his wife… bro, wake up! Your wife is being a jerk. Janet was a contender for this week’s MOST UNHINGED for her drunken behavior at that El Coyote girl’s night, but did not win (more on that later). She not only inserted herself into that fight between Michelle and Kristen, she was also extra bitchy to a crying Nia. And although I do agree with Janet that Michelle is getting the shit end of the stick in her divorce from Jesse… she’s going about it all wrong. Like, yes… Kristen absolutely knows what she’s doing, and YES… Kristen definitely invited Jenna to her housewarming to stir the pot. But, Janet… you won’t win against Doute. It just won’t happen. Saying all of that, even though Janet sucks, she did take home two AWARDS this week: TOOK MOST SHIT (no one likes her) and BEST LINE. To be honest, there weren’t very many BEST LINE contenders this episode, but the sheer wildness of: “SEE YA!!! Get your to-go box! BYE!!” made me laugh out loud. So, she wins. There is a case to be made that Janet should also win MVP, being that she is the overall point leader of the episode with a total of 78 total… but, I’m instead giving it to Nia who came in 2nd. Nia was planning trips, supporting friends, feuding at girl’s night, crying at girl’s night, storming out of girl’s night and even threw Janet some killer shade with that comeback in the pool about Janet’s drinking: “This early in the night?” Go Nia!

    MOST UNHINGED obviously goes to that men’s group at Jesse’s house. All guys in attendance got the full 10 points for the on-camera therapy sesh where they racked up apology points galore. There was even power move points given to Jason for denying Danny’s apology (thanks Janet!). Honestly, the whole thing was so cringe to watch. And look — don’t get it twisted, I’m all for men getting therapy. But I can’t put it better than team SLAY WE MUST, so I will repost her comment here: “I want my husband to come home from a friend hang and have NO IDEA about his closest friends lives, as it should be.” Thank you. Exactly.

    There’s really not much else to say except that Scheana better watch out ’cause Jenna is coming for her potential role on season 3 of The Valley!!

    NOTES:

    A NOTE ON HAWAII DINNER FASHION: It will be scored next episode as I didn’t get to see everyone’s outfits at the end of this one. Stay tuned!