+25 extra bonus points are awarded each week on the pod!
+5 Stassi Award, Best Line:
Ariana: “I am the final boss in his video game path to redemption – and because he can’t get to the final boss, he’s fuckin’ pissed”
+5 Kristen Award, Most Unhinged Behavior:
Brock: for both his Hitler-youth lewk and the crazy gold suit dancing
+5 Laura Leigh Award, Took the Most Shit:
Ariana: for everyone trying to make her do shit she doesn’t want to do and continuously trying to sell her on Sandoval being cool now
+5 Vail Award, Best Background Acting:
Ally: for saddling right up to Katie during that Jo fight
+5 MVP, For Doing the Most:
Lala: working for that paycheck and making a big scene after Ariana left so the finale had something else happen
Notes:
Reunion Play: WE ARE CONTINUING WITH SAME ROSTERS, INCLUDING WEEKLY DROPS!
Reunion point updates may occur before the first one airs, so check back Tuesday afternoon.
Yes, I wanted to play with betting points and whittling teams down to their main cast characters only. But at this time, I just don’t have the time or infrastructure to change things up this season. Trust we will see this feature in future seasons.
Thank you to everyone that has helped us test this game so far!! We can’t thank you enough for participating and making this as fun as it’s been!!
Points & Leagues:
Well friends, the regular season is finally over! And although Scheana doesn’t think anything is ever about her, she won the finale episode that should have gone to Ariana. With two songs, a costume change, lots of tears, and also straight up just inviting herself to be in that band… Scheshoo knows how to win at reality television! For Ariana’s part, she actually would have come in 3rd this week if it weren’t for the 10 points she nabbed from our podcast awards, boosting her into 2nd. And perhaps appropriately, Katie, cemented herself into 3rd by dishing it out and refusing to entertain bullshit from anyone – especially Sandoval and Jo. Last place of the main cast went to LVP this week, with only 2 points, which should serve as proof to everyone that this was not a series finale. In no world does Bravo end a show about Los Angeles bartenders -in San Francisco- with the show’s namesake only getting 30 seconds of screen time via FaceTime.
I gotta say, from an overall points perspective, it’s super interesting to hear the chatter online accusing production of giving Sandoval a positive redemption arc edit. It’s also fascinating to hear how the cast feels about their status on the show. For all of Lala’s complaints in the press about Ariana… Lala actually won the entire regular season with 504 points (with Ariana trailing just 7 points behind). In our game, this means the show centered around her character and commentary in the most favorable light out of anyone else this season. In contrast, although Sandoval generated the most point opportunity, he constantly lost for all the shade and negativity that came his way – placing him 7th among main cast. The only person that came off looking worse than Sandoval, was Schwartz. A serial killer’s wet dream, indeed.
ONTO THE REUNION!!
League 1“Number One League in the Group”:
Thanks to Katie swinging around her big past-life dick, and a shitload of Former Cast sightings in that end montage, The Least Extrashave unexpectedly WON the finale episode with 99 points!! Secondary characters were designed to pop off in spurts, and spurt they did. Also poppin’ off this ep was Jo, aka “Joseph” – a nickname that was repeated by Schwartz 12 fucking times, on top of all the points she got for that failed public apology to Katie. Spooky Jo’s service to this show not only snagged COS👏MO👏POLI👏TANS! a 2nd place weekly finish, but combined with the sheer power of Ariana Madix, has throttled this team into 3rd place overall!! I REPEAT: COS👏MO👏POLI👏TANS! ARE THIRD PLACE OVERALL!! ALSO NOTABLE: 3rd place for the episode went to C.U.Next.Tournament! Plagued by Schwartz’s bad decisions and support of Sandoval, this team also started off with a non-existent Lance Bass. Although they sit in 6th overall, I was happy to see them top the leaderboards again in regular season play.
Speaking of regular season play… Sexy Unique Teamname obviously wins. I gotta admit though, I was a little scared up until the last 10 minutes because Lala had been fairly dormant, leaving the success of this powerhouse team up to Billie and Brock. Luckily Brock did the absolute most – dancing like a madman, kicking that creep out of VIP with his shiny heels, and dancing on stage with the 27’s guitarist on his literal shoulders. Despite all this work, Raqueltoni al Segretto‘sonly active roster member, Scheana Marie Shay, made sure it was all about her, closing the gap between these rival teams to just 3 points. Luckily for SUTN, Lala rose to the occasion, and helped secure a healthy 50 point lead going into the Reunion. To be honest, I have no idea what madness the Reunion will bring. Maybe placements will flip around yet again. But as these two battle it out for 1st and 2nd, there is a wild race happening for 3rd between COS👏MO👏POLI👏TANS!, Mercury in Gatorade, and The Least Extras who are within 20 points of each other. Similarily, the bottom half of the standings show CUNextTourney, The Pastaand Jax Taylor’s 4th Nose Job also within 20 points of each other. But again, I have no idea what to expect from the reunion. GOOD LUCK EVERYONE!!!!!
League 2 “Graham’s Next Daddies”:
I am a little shook! Miraculously, The Dead James Kennedy’sare within 100 points of regular season winner, Worms with Mustaches, as we head into the Reunion! On top of that Pumptini!gained Andy Cohen and Acid Dildo will no doubt get points for James / Hippie (and obviously) Scheana, who will definitely cry a lot.
League 3 “Gamers Who Bravo”:
As expected, the regular season was of course won by Pill Poppers, No Shayd in a 200 point landslide. In fact, all teams are separated by about 200 points, followed by The Golden Nugget??, The James Kennedy Experiment, and G.O.A.T. Cheese Balls (who is hilariously trailing by a full 350). However, with TGN??’s gaining Andy, and TJKE’s shade machines of James / LVP on full blast… and even G.O.A.T.’s potential redemption of Jo… we might see these point gaps close.
+5 Stassi Award:“I am the final boss in his video game path to redemption, and because he can’t get to the final boss, he’s fuckin’ pissed”
+5 Laura-Leigh Award: for everyone trying to make her do shit she doesn’t want to do and continuously trying to sell her on Sandoval being cool now
+3 Bonus, SCANDAL category leader
1
STY
Trolly day outfit beige blazer
4
STY
drinks x4
15
SCA
ariana / dan kiss x5
5
SCA
Ariana gets aggressive with schwartz
-2
POW
lala shades ariana “tries to put on a cool girl vibe”
2
POW
ariana shades sandoval “the trash person”
2
STY
Fash: sexy, black, fuck-you-guys i’m leaving dress – bonus point
1
STY
drinks
1
SCA
gaslighting / lying “i was texting with logan”
2
POW
Ariana shades sandoval “he’s the ex boyfriend of mine that does not deserve to be in my presense and breath the same air as me, and that will not change”
-6
POW
Editor shade flashback x3 re: i never said i won’t be scheana’s friend: “i will not have mutual friends with him, so you’re not my friend anymore” and “you’re not gonna be friends with people who talk to him” “doesn’t get access to my life via me or mutual friends”
3
SCA
Ariana / Scheana kiss
3
POW
Storms off when sandoval walks up
5
SCA
Argument with production
2
SCA
Threatening legal words to production “non-informed consent”
2
POW
Ariana shades Sandoval to production
2
POW
Ariana shades sandoval “its about a performance with the audience. he wants 30 seconds with the audience”
2
POW
Ariana shades sandoval “i am the final boss in his video game path to redemption, and because he can’t get to the final boss, he’s fuckin pissed”
4
POW
Power Move! Ariana doesn’t allow Sandoval access!! x2 bonus
3
POW
Dramatic exit
-2
POW
Sandoval shades Ariana “don’t sit back on your lazy ass and collect a fuckin check for doing nothing”
-2
POW
Lala shades ariana “she now thinks she is beyonce”
-2
POW
lala shades ariana “it’s a lot.. she says don’t fuck with tom sandoval, don’t fuck with tom sandoval… but i’m gonna sleep down the hall from tom sandoval”
-2
POW
lala shades ariana “they hooked up 8 days later! 8 days!”
3
SCA
Ariana / dan kiss
-2
POW
lala shades ariana “i’ve never in my life experienced anyone who gets cheated on and suddenly she becomes god”
Katie shades sandoval at lunch “i don’t believe a damn word, a damn tear. a damn nothing that comes out of him”
5
SCA
Katie gets aggressive abt Sandoval at lunch to gang
4
POW
Katie shades scheana / Sandoval “if she wants to be friends w/ Sandoval go ahead and then he can dump all over her when he wants and take advantage of her as a friend and be a shitty person to her. like, if that’s the kind of friends you need in your life — go for it”
1
STY
Fash: sexy black dress
2
POW
posing for press photos
3
POW
Drinks x3
13
SCA
Jo (3) apologizes to katie (5) with witnesses: lala, schwartz, brock, ally, brad, ariana, daniel (7), additional “i’m sorry” +1
5
SCA
Argument Katie / Jo
2
POW
Katie shades Jo “you’re weird”
3
SCA
Fingers up! Veins popping in forehead!
2
POW
katie shades jo “as a woman, you should have though about me”
2
POW
katie shades jo “keep ‘it’ away from me”
3
STY
drinks x3
3
STY
Learned something: protect your peace, stand your ground
+5 MVP: for working that paycheck and making a big scene after Ariana left so the finale had something else happen
2
POW
Lala shades dan “this guy sounds like a fuckin square”
1
STY
Trolly day cameo jacket and sunglasses
1
SCA
sex jokes “i told schwartz we could tag team it, but i don’t think he can handle all this”
2
POW
lala shades schwartz “i told schwartz we could tag team it, but i don’t think he can handle all this”
2
POW
power move: interrogates dan
2
POW
lala shades ariana “tries to put on a cool girl vibe”
1
STY
Fash: sexy gold dress
2
POW
posing for press photos
5
SCA
Lala enters Katie / Jo argument
-2
POW
Shaded online “you can’t be softer if you’re giving a psycho cheater a second chance while talking trash about your bffs and their business”
-2
POW
Shaded online “i can’t wit the terrible trio of lala, scheana and tom”
-2
POW
shaded online “lala loves to preach about her growth, but going behind your friend’s back and befriendig her ex is NOT growth, Lauryn”
2
POW
Lala shades ariana “she now thinks she is beyonce”
8
SCA
lala enters argument 5, fingers / purse up 3
2
POW
lala shades ariana “it’s a lot.. she says don’t fuck with tom sandoval, don’t fuck with tom sandoval… but i’m gonna sleep down the hall from tom sandoval”
-2
SCA
Hardcore standing up for sandoval, extra point deducted
2
POW
lala shades ariana “they hooked up 8 days later! 8 days!”
2
POW
lala shades ariana “i’ve never in my life experienced anyone who gets cheated on and suddenly she becomes god”
3
STY
Learned something: “there was a time where i was not honest about my life and it was suffocating”
For brock defending him to scheana (1) and in confessional (1)
3
SCA
supported by scheana brock and schwartz at lunch to gang
-2
POW
Katie shades sandoval at lunch “i don’t believe a damn word, a damn tear. a damn nothing that comes out of him”
-2
POW
ariana shades sandoval “the trash person”
-2
POW
Sandoval shaded by the editors for a messy hotel room
-1
STY
For bringing the fucking galaxy light
2
SCA
LVP / Scheana supporting Sandoval on facetime call
-2
POW
Katie shades scheana / sandoval “if she wants to be friends w/ sandoval go ahead and then he can dump all over her when he wants and take advantage of her as a friend and be a shitty person to her. like, if that’s the kind of friends you need in your life — go for it”
3
POW
Wearing own merch – tomtom hoodie
-2
POW
Schwartz shades sandoval “probably decades”
2
STY
Sandoval gift to kyle chan and scheana – sound guy
1
STY
Fash: tux with black bowtie and sunglasses inside
2
SCA
brock and scheana being nice and supportive to sandoval at whiskey party
2
POW
full name by ariana
5
SCA
Enters to mediate physical fight
-2
SCA
Drink thrown at by crazy guy
-2
POW
Editor shade “jetta, thought you knew betta” cut to sandoval
-2
POW
Ariana shades sandoval “he’s the ex boyfriend of mine that does not deserve to be in my presense and breath the same air as me, and that will not change”
1
SCA
scheana defending sandoval to ariana
-2
POW
Ariana shades Sandoval to production
1
SCA
Gaslighting “ariana called you performative…” “ariana knows me well enough to know i’m not”
1
SCA
Gaslighting “you know what it is – ariana is fucking performative”
5
SCA
Sandoval in argument – yelling at everyone
-2
POW
Ariana shades sandoval “its about a performance with the audience. he wants 30 seconds with the audience”
-2
POW
Ariana shades sandoval “i am the final boss in his video game path to redemption, and because he can’t get to the final boss, he’s fuckin pissed”
-4
POW
Power Move! Ariana doesn’t give in!! x2
2
POW
Sandoval shades Ariana “don’t sit back on your lazy ass and collect a fuckin check for doing nothing”
2
SCA
Gaslighting lala and scheana “she talks shit about all you fuckers. she doesn’t show up for your shit. she’s not gonna come to your fuckin thing – I AM”
3
SCA
Hands up, veins poppin
-2
POW
Shaded online “you can’t be softer if you’re giving a psycho cheater a second chance while talking trash about your bffs and their business”
6
POW
full name said 3x by lala
4
SCA
lala and scheana hardcore standing up for sandoval, extra point deducted
LVP / Scheana supporting Sandoval on facetime call
3
POW
LVP gives Scheana advice re Sandoval
-2
POW
Katie shades scheana / sandoval “if she wants to be friends with sandoval go ahead and then he can dump all over her when he wants and take advantage of her as a friend and be a shitty person to her. like, if that’s the kind of friends you need in your life — go for it”
1
STY
H2T good as gold dress look 1
1
STY
Sandoval gift to kyle chan and scheana – sound guy
2
POW
posing for press photos
3
POW
Catchphrase “good as gold” said to crowd during soundcheck
-1
STY
wardrobe malfunction
-1
SCA
being nice and supportive to sandoval during soundcheck
3
STY
Cries in confessional
2
STY
Fash: Sche-3PO! Bonus point for costume change
2
POW
Full stage name “Scheana Marie” by kyle chan
5
POW
Singing on stage with band
6
POW
2 song promotion on show: apples, good as gold
2
POW
Press photos taken while on stage
2
POW
Nickname “scheshoo” by lala
10
POW
for straight up inviting herself to be in the band lol
6
POW
Promoted to “band member” of the 27’s
3
STY
cries
-1
SCA
scheana defending sandoval to ariana
3
SCA
Ariana / Scheana kiss
3
SCA
Storms off from sandoval “don’t make me look like a fucking idiot, tom”
5
SCA
Scheana enters argument
3
STY
Cries again
-2
POW
Shaded online “i can’t take anymore of scheana’s tears for tom. why doesn’t she have them for ariana” does she have a crush on him?”
-2
POW
Shaded online “i can’t wit the terrible trio of lala, scheana and tom”
-2
SCA
Hardcore standing up for sandoval, extra point deducted
lala shades schwartz “i told schwartz we could tag team it, but i don’t think he can handle all this”
3
SCA
3some talk at table (2) and confessional (1)
1
STY
drinks
-1
SCA
Supports Sandoval at lunch to gang
2
POW
Nickname “TMoney” by jo
-2
POW
Jo shades Schwartz “you gotta stop wearing the colors that match your skin tone and your hair, dude”
2
POW
Schwartz shades Jo “you laugh like goofy”
2
POW
Schwartz shades Jo “when she put lipstick on, for me it always looked like a little girl breaks into her mom’s makeup supply and like puts on lipstick”
2
POW
Schwartz shades sandoval “probably decades”
1
STY
Fash: hot professor with glasses lewk
2
POW
Nickname “TMoney” by jo
5
SCA
Schwartz enters Katie / Jo argument
1
STY
drinks
-2
POW
Shaded online “i can’t wit the terrible trio of lala, scheana and tom”
Jo shades Schwartz “you gotta stop wearing the colors that match your skin tone and your hair, dude”
-2
POW
Schwartz shades Jo “you laugh like goofy”
-2
POW
Schwartz shades Jo “when she put lipstick on, for me it always looked like a little girl breaks into her mom’s makeup supply and like puts on lipstick”
1
STY
Fash: sexy black dress and makeup! Jo looks great!
4
POW
Nickname “Joseph” by schwartz x2
2
STY
Drinks x2
-2
POW
Brad shades Jo “here comes my favorite cracked out person”
4
POW
Nickname “joseph” by schwartz x2
11
SCA
Jo (3) apologizes to katie (5) with witnesses: lala, schwartz, brock, ally, brad, ariana, daniel (7), additional “i’m sorry” +1