+25 extra bonus points are awarded each week on the pod!
+5 Stassi Award, Best Line:
Ariana: “I can’t die on this tiny boat with my ex – I have plans!”
+5 Kristen Award, Most Unhinged Behavior:
Brock for laughing off the idea of “male rage” as if it isn’t real and he’s never heard of it.
+5 Laura Leigh Award, Took the Most Shit:
Ariana.
+5 Vail Award, Best Background Acting:
Heather McDonald (friend). She got a line!
+5 MVP, For Doing the Most:
Ariana!
Notes:
THE SEASON FINALE IS UPON US – what happens next?
Each league will crown a regular season winner! Yay!
The championship (aka reunion) will begin
Each team will only retain MAIN CAST MEMBERS
Stay tuned for “Reunion Rules”
Points & Leagues:
League 1“Number One League in the Group”:
BREAKING NEWS: A CINDERELLA STORY IS UNFOLDING! “Can you believvvvvvve” that COSđź‘ŹMOđź‘ŹPOLIđź‘ŹTANS! won this episode?!! AND, they’re in 4th place overall?!! If I’m being honest, I had completely given up all hope for this team, but as we talked about this week on the pod, Ariana is finally giving off main character energy. Throughout the season her scores have been pretty low with the exception of 3 specific episodes: the premiere (as expected), the mid-season (ep. 6 major career shit), and the penultimate (finally featuring Strong Dan). There’s no doubt Ariana will be at the epicenter of this coming week’s finale, but will it be enough for COSMOS to take a 3rd place finish?! Not if Mercury in Gatoradehas anything to say about it! Sitting just 20ish points ahead in 3rd, I know they have their eyes set on a 2nd place victory. Luckily for them, Sandoval lives for the spotlight, and nothing is more attention grabbing than a finale. This team has a MAJOR decision to make when selecting their drop for the week, and it could mean their fate: do they keep Friends for Kyle Chan’s party and finally drop Jax Taylor? I know he told us to our literal faces that he would “be on every episode of Vanderpump Rules for the rest of the season”, but obviously that was a lie. Hard to say. If they drop him and he DOES show up… ooof…. another team will happily take those points. Good luck – big money, no whammies!
Holding strong in 1st place for the last half of this season is Sexy Unique Teamname. Frankly friends… at this point, the only team that could possibly overtake her is Raqueltoni al Segretto. This once lesser pasta battled it out for WEEKS on the leaderboards -and even survived attempted murder- from their Nemesis / Double Scorpio / Bravo Games Social Media Manager / Basst Frand of the Pod, The Pasta aka Lindsey Haun. This OG Noodle has done nothing but surprise me all season, and I wouldn’t be shocked if she somehow snagged 3rd, but I really doubt we’ll see much of LVP in the finale. Raqueltoni stands to gain big points this week with Scheana’s 2-song performance, answering Ben Simpson’s very important question from Draft Day: “Scheana is a clear star – are we at all worried about that?”. The answer is YES, but the only person worried should be Christina!
Speaking of Ben Simpson, The Least Extras are still in contention for 3rd, especially with the potential of Former Cast popping up at Kyle Chan’s Whiskey Party. I can’t say the same for C.U.Next.Tournament and Jax Taylor’s 4th Nose Job. In fact, C.U.N.T.’s have a better shot at not being last — they’ve got Schwartz and Ally, as well as that sweet Lance Bass Bonus. Is it a long shot, yes – but if he does show up, it will be at Kyle Chan’s party. JT4NJ only has James to count on, but fingers crossed for a MASS HAUNT by Ghost Raquel!
League 2 “Graham’s Next Daddies”:
The penultimate episode proved to be a HUGE week for The Dead James Kennedy‘s! Popping off on all cylinders with Dan, Jo, Friends, Sandoval AND Lala, it didn’t matter that Ken didn’t show. Is he still alive…? I’m worried. I’m also worried about Acid Dildo, who sadly couldn’t keep the momentum from their previous week’s win, but should score big on the finale with Scheana’s performance. Without question, Worms with Mustaches will certainly win the game, but who will come in 2nd?! Currently, Pumptini! and The Dead James Kennedy’s are BASICALLY TIED for 2nd with 1350 and 1349, respectively. Looking at their rosters, TDJK’s are looking STRONG heading into the finale. Crazy line up!
League 3 “Gamers Who Bravo”:
I called it at the start, but The Pill Poppers have basically already won the regular season. Sitting at 1674, this is the highest scoring team across all leagues! Looking at all teams, everyone is pretty evenly spread out, making it very hard to expect a different rank outcome than what it currently is. 175 points behind in 2nd is The Golden Nugget??, and 150 points behind them in 3rd is The James Kennedy Experiment. And ummm lol about 375 points behind that is our very last place team, G.O.A.T. Cheese Balls, who should frankly win an award for drafting such an astonishingly bad roster. We salute you!
+5 Stassi Award: “I can’t die on this tiny boat with my ex – I have plans!”
+5 Laura-Leigh Award: took the most shit
+3 Bonus, STYLE category leader
4
POW
At Something About Her
3
POW
Promoting SAH
-2
POW
Shades Ariana and Katie for stealing Ann “I feel like it’s a good fit being a female-centric business” // “AND… kinda gets back at Tom!”
3
POW
Invited to Lala’s birthday
1
STY
Fashion: gold mesh see thru dress
1
SCA
At burlesque show
1
POW
Drinks
4
POW
Ariana shades lala and scheana “pathetic”
1
SCA
Gaslighting in confesh “it’s nothing to do with me – it has to do with the fact that he repeatedly treats her like shit and doesn’t actually give a fuck about her”
2
POW
Ariana shades sandoval “he’s a loser”
3
STY
Ariana / Dan date
1
STY
Lookin fresh on a date – soft brown silk dress
1
STY
Drinks
3
POW
VPR catchphrase “worm with a mustache”
2
POW
Ariana shades Sandoval “worm with a mustache”
3
SCA
Ariana / Dan kiss
2
POW
It’s a trip – heading to SF
-2
POW
Lala shades Strong Dan and ariana “you can tell me he’s a great guy all the live long day, i think it’s fuckin weird that any dude would be like ‘she’s the one, just left her man of 10 fuckin years and they still live together… i’m sorry, something seems off”
1
STY
Points for Daniel / Ariana with the matching Nikes
3
SCA
Ariana / Dan kiss
2
POW
Ariana shades Sandoval “i cannot die on this tiny boat with my ex”
2
POW
Ariana shades Sandoval re: seals “wait, i hope he gets attacked”
2
POW
Ariana shades Sandoval “well he’s like scenery at this point, i didn’t even notice he was there”
1
SCA
Gaslighting Brock, pretending like Sandoval isn’t bothering her even tho she has brought up several times to her boyfriend how annoying it will be to see him
2
POW
Ariana shades Brock “you mean the woman i love more than anything… who he screamed at… less than a week ago? yeah, sorry, no, i care more about her than to let people in her life that are gonna scream at her”
8
POW
Ariana / Editors shade Sandoval, Brock, Schwartz, James “i see men raising their voices all the time and it’s kinda like, not really a thought.”
Friend (lala’s logan) shades lala “she’s still wearing more than lala”
1
SCA
At burlesque show
-2
POW
Ariana shades lala and scheana “pathetic”
2
POW
It’s a trip – heading to SF
4
POW
Lala shades Strong Dan and ariana “you can tell me he’s a great guy all the live long day, i think it’s fuckin weird that any dude would be like ‘she’s the one, just left her man of 10 fuckin years and they still live together… i’m sorry, something seems off”
3
POW
Wears own merch – send it to darrell
1
STY
Street style beige camo set with nikes
2
POW
Lala shades brock “boys are so weird how they’re like ‘i wanna drive the boat’… like, what about that is like fun”
1
SCA
For lowkey wishing she could bang Daniel
2
POW
Lala shades James “james is a 12 year old hocking papers near the titanic”
Gaslighting / breadcrumbing Jo “i don’t wanna send mixed signals, so i’ll make it perfectly clear… this is my friend Jo, and we’re gonna get married in 8 years!”
2
POW
It’s a trip – heading to SF
3
POW
Wears own merch – tomtom hat
-2
POW
Ariana / Editors shade Sandoval, Brock, Schwartz, James “i see men raising their voices all the time and it’s kinda like, not really a thought.”
2
STY
Takes shot of champagne oyster
3
STY
Gangsta costume
-2
POW
Katie shades schwartz and sandoval “we’re the new tomtom”
+5 Kristen Award: For literally laughing at the idea of male rage being a real thing that happens
4
POW
Appears (1) and invited to (3) lala bday
1
SCA
At burlesque show
1
POW
Appears packing for SF
-1
STY
tiny hat
3
POW
Appears (1) It’s a trip – heading to SF (2)
1
STY
For wearing the captain’s hat
-2
POW
Lala shades brock “boys are so weird how they’re like ‘i wanna drive the boat’… like, what about that is like fun”
-2
POW
Ariana shades Brock “you mean the woman i love more than anything… who he screamed at… less than a week ago? yeah, sorry, no, i care more about her than to let people in her life that are gonna scream at her”
-2
POW
Ariana / Editors shade Sandoval, Brock, Schwartz, James “i see men raising their voices all the time and it’s kinda like, not really a thought.”
3
POW
Half points brock hosting roaring 20’s night during sf trip
Lala shades Strong Dan and ariana “you can tell me he’s a great guy all the live long day, i think it’s fuckin weird that any dude would be like ‘she’s the one, just left her man of 10 fuckin years and they still live together… i’m sorry, something seems off”
1
STY
Points for Daniel / Ariana with the matching Nikes
Giving Sandoval’s mom 2 style points for being a proud mama and looking happy in all these closeups… after everything he’s put her through, and money he borrowed, she deserves a few points in our game. plus she was a firefighter.
Most Extras performing on stage (4 – band is counted as one performance unless chyroned separately like Jason) instruments: Singer with talent 5, keys 2 , sax 2, lead guitar 2, rhythm guitar 2, bass 2, trumpet 2 // Jason performing on stage 4 drums 2
8
STY
All most extras band members get style points for looking good on stage, including jason