+20 extra bonus points are awarded each week on the pod!
+5 Stassi Award, Best Line:
Scheana: “Wait, do I have an HR Department?” AND “They better have raaaaaanchhh”
+5 Kristen Award, Most Unhinged Behavior:
Ariana: for threatening to call 9-1-1
+5 Laura Leigh Award, Took the Most Shit:
Tom Sandoval.
+5 Vail Award, Best Background Acting:
Dayna: for saying exactly nothing at that water tasting (attributed to Former Cast)
+5 MVP, For Stirring the Pot (NEW AWARD!!):
Brock: for stirring up shit every chance he got
Notes:
Ann and the Lance Bass Bonus:
As we all know, Lance Bass will likely not appear on season 11 of VPR… unless it’s in a flashback. As such, he will be replaced with Ann (who just got her own confessional!)
Although Lance Bass will no longer be draftable, I’d hate to fully remove him from the game. We need him, you know? So, each week he will be rewarded to the first place team of the current week’s episode. If he appears in a flashback, that’s +50 points, babyyy!
Paid Friends vs. Friends:
These categories can be murky. Some Friends are simply Paid Friends (Jason), and some Friends also provide work for one of the cast members (Jesse, Logan, Jenna, Israel). Furthermore, sometimes there are Paid Experts who are not actual friends (meditation girl, water sommelier).
From now on, points will be attributed to how someone shows up in the episode. For instance, if LOGAN is acting as the manager of TomTom, he will get Paid Friend points… but if LOGAN is hanging out at Ariana’s for game night, he will get Friend Points.
No matter how Jason or Chef Penny show up, they will always be credited as Paid Friend. As such, Kyle Chan will always be credited as Friend.
Paid Experts will be counted as Paid Friends.
MVP – New Weekly Podcast Award:
With 6 episodes left in VPR Season 11, we felt it was time to start awarding a weekly MVP. Someone who is committed to making good reality television, stirring shit up and generally just doing the work.
Points & Leagues:
It was another week of Ariana vs. Sandoval, with Ariana finally playing offense. She would have won the episode, too, if Sandoval didn’t get that extra scene squeezed into the Peacock version, bumping him into first. Our candy-necklaced most extra also nabbed +8 bonus points combined for being the Scandal category leader and winning the Laura-Leigh Award for taking the most shit. In second place this week is Former Cast, who also nabbed an extra +8 for leading Power and winning the Vail Award for Dayna’s amazing background work at that water tasting. Tied for 3rd are our SAH queens, Ariana and Katie, both earning points for not really giving a fuck what anyone else thinks. Ariana herself has pulled into first place overall with 328 points, finally toppling the current number one guy in the group, James Kennedy (who sits only one point ahead of Lala Kent)!
League 1“Number One League in the Group”:
Congrats to The Least Extras for their first place finish of the week! Former Cast finally paid off, and your girl Katie was likeable and relatable (even for Christina!). Not only did you win the episode, you are also in 2nd place for overall scoring – just 2 points ahead of The Pasta!! As a reward for this week’s performance, you will be granted THE LANCE BASS BONUS for next week’s episode (see above). Although The Pasta is in 3rd place overall, she came in 7th for the week – saved from a last place finish only by the Peacock version featuring a bonus scene with LVP. The last place finish goes to none other than C.U.Next.Tournament who suffered from an absent Ken and a lackluster Schwartz / Ally combo. Coming in 3rd place this week goes to Mercury in Gatorade, who, attempted to grease these scoring wheels at an event earlier this week! I won’t name names or what I was offered, but… they did earn the Laura-Leigh Award for this episode. Did Sandoval deserve it? I think so. Point is, they’re working hard to take this game from all of you. Yes, they’re in 6th place overall right now, but they are very much in the running for 2nd place. In fact, unless you are COS👏MO👏POLI👏TANS!, Jax Taylor’s 4th Nose Jobor Sexy Unique Teamname… you’re in the running for 2nd place! I’ll be honest, I’m hoping one of you will take down Christina’s grip on 1st, but it’s gonna be hard. She basically made up a whole new bonus award this week so she could get an extra +5 points. Look – it pays to be on the pod! P.S. we are booking for next week!!
League 2 “Graham’s Next Daddies”:
Yet again, Worms with Mustaches won the episode and broke 1100 overall. 1st and 1st, again and again. I wish I had drafted this team for myself. Since I actually did draft this team, I kind of think of it as one of my own – which helps because I’m pretty much in last place in my league. So yay us! The rest of you pretty much tied for 2nd, which how it looks in overall scoring as well. Acid Dildois in last place, but I know Scheana is going back to the studio and Tori’s make outs are coming up. None of you are safe!
League 3 “Gamers Who Bravo”:
Man oh man The Pill Poppers are crushing the competition!! With over 1k points, can this team be stopped?! Both The Golden Nugget?? and The James Kennedy Experiment are contending for 2nd, but can either jumpstart their rosters enough to catch up? We know we can count on The Nug’s Lala coming after The Pill Poppers’ Ariana, but will TJKE ever get to cash out on those Strong Dan points? And will poor G.O.A.T. Cheese Balls ever get those sweet Sandoval forgiveness points? Will Jo rise up? The good news is you came in 2nd for the week!
+5 Kristen Award: for threatening to call 9-1-1 on Sandoval
2
POW
Ariana shades Sandoval “things might get a little rough with me and my roommate if i poach his assistant, but…i mean he didn’t respect me enough to like, you know, not fuck my friend when i was at my grandma’s funeral…”
-1
SCA
Raquel haunts ariana in her confessional
2
POW
Biz opportunity – job interview with Ann
4
POW
Ariana shades Sandoval “I know he wears that shit sometimes, for like, DAYS in a row… and then they really wanna know why I wouldn’t fuck him! Change your drawers, bro!” x2 bonus
-2
POW
Power Move: Sandoval eavsdropping on Ann and Ariana, especially when he’s standing over the literal noise machine he got so Ariana would stop eavsdropping on him
2
POW
Ariana shades Lala “She’s really trying to understand him.. I don’t know… part of her own healing journey, I suppose?”
2
POW
Ariana shades Lala “Plus, I don’t really know what the fuck a water tasting is”
3
POW
Invited to water tasting
-2
POW
Sandoval shades Ariana “tacky”
-2
POW
Scheana shades Ariana “your lawyer is not going to be telling you when you can go upstairs and use the Tonal”
2
POW
Power Move: “it’s my Tonal”
-2
POW
Lala shades Ariana “I think your lawyer has better things to do with his time then mediate between you and your boyfriend”
2
POW
Ariana shades Sandoval “the attempted dog murderer was eavesdropping”
2
SCA
Ariana threatens to call 9-1-1 on Sandoval
9
SCA
Heated argument between Ariana and Sandoval at water tasting (3), ariana YELLS (3) and fingers up (3)!
2
POW
Ariana shades Sandoval “do not go in my room. that is the only safe space I have in that home cuz you fucking wrecked it”
-2
POW
Sandoval shades Ariana “put on your big girl panties and respond to an email”
4
POW
Ariana shades Sandoval “careless and callous about the house that was my fucking dream house for my fucking children” x2 extra shitty re: children
-2
POW
Sandoval shades Ariana “you already got everything, Ariana, you got all the campaigns and now you’re gonna take my assistant?”
2
POW
Ariana shades Sandoval “you ruin my life, my home and then fucking attempt to kill my fucking dog”
-2
POW
Sandoval shades Ariana “her dream home… for her kids?… okay”
-1
STY
It’s “extracted” not “extrapolated”
-4
POW
Lala shades Ariana “throw your trash away. didn’t you do a trash bag commercial? shouldn’t you know how to throw trash in the trash?” x 2 bonus
-5
POW
Sandoval starts rumor about Ariana “dude did you see the rage that comes out of her?! that’s what I dealt with my entire relationship. that fucking scary fucking rage all the fucking time”
4
POW
Ariana shades Sandoval “I’m not capable of having a productive conversation with a fucking sociopath, disgusting, psycho, narcassist, gaslighter, piece of shit, fucking person” x2
2
STY
Drinks x2
-2
POW
Sandoval shades Ariana about keeping the house up “if i don’t do it, no one will”
-2
POW
Sandoval shades Ariana “I don’t even know how her ass gets wiped that girl is so fucking lazy”
-2
POW
Sandoval shading Ariana “Ariana is really busy. She has like a looooot of things in the works. I think they’re flying her to the moon and the day after she meets the pope. so i’m sure it’s a lot for her to handle house hunting”
3
POW
Invited to beach day
1
STY
Really cute bikini and cover up
-2
POW
James shades Ariana and Sandoval “so today for the beach here’s the rules! I’m drawin a line in the sand… literally!”
2
POW
Ariana shades Sandoval “yeah well the conversation subject matter is disgusting because of you, so maybe have it somewhere else”
2
POW
Ariana shades Sandoval “and if you did have a HR department.. you’d be fucked, dude.”
2
POW
Power move ariana against sandoval: the animals are mine. i paid the adoption fees
3
SCA
Heated bickering at beach with sandoval and ariana
2
POW
Ariana shades Sandoval “because he is such a misogynist, he requires men -because that is who he respects – to put him in his place”
4
POW
Ariana shades sandoval and lala “lala i don’t need you to be devil’s advocate. the devil has enough advocates. he’s the devil and you’re his advocate”
Katie savagely shades Schwartz “Tom can be upset if he wants! But at the end of the day, should I feel bad? No. It’s not like we had an agreement, right?”
3
POW
Invited to water tasting
5
SCA
Brock apologizes to Katie (for his drunk airing of her Max revenge fuck)
3
STY
Learns lesson, she aired brock’s business, tit for tat
2
POW
Toasting / cheers at water tasting
2
POW
Katie shades Lala “It tastes like water”
2
POW
Katie shades Schwartz “I’m wearing the Schwartz pants and walking a mile in them”
3
STY
Drinks x3
-1
SCA
Haunted by Raquel: katie / schwartz at water tasting
3
SCA
Heated argument between Katie / schwartz at water tasting
2
POW
Katie shades Schwartz “until you wanna make better choices in like… clothing…”
-2
POW
Sandoval shades Katie “whats that hypocrite up to?”
-2
POW
Sandoval shades Katie “katie has made her entire adult life all about slut shaming women”
3
POW
Invited to beach day
1
STY
Cool black cover up and silver bikini
1
STY
drinks
-1
SCA
Raquel haunts beach day x7 ariana katie brock scheana schwartz ally james sandoval
2
POW
Power move: tells sandoval she’s hiring his assistant
2
POW
Katie shades Sandoval “HR? you have a human resources department?”
LVP shades Scheana “Hold on a second, so she’s got married, had a baby, and she’s still tracking the man that she had sex with prior to Brock?”
5
SCA
Introduces a rumor: “I’ve heard that young Max Boyens is very blessed…i mean there’s a lot to say about Max, but I can’t because it would be inappropriate!”
-1
SCA
Raquel haunts dinner with James, ally, lvp and jacqueline
Ariana shades Sandoval “things might get a little rough with me and my roommate if i poach his assistant, but…i mean he didn’t respect me enough to like, you know, not fuck my friend when i was at my grandma’s funeral…”
-4
POW
Ann savagely airs out Sandoval: “… but it does have it’s cons. Sometimes I have to pick up his dirty socks and underwear”
-4
POW
Ariana shades Sandoval “I know he wears that shit sometimes, for like, DAYS in a row… and then they really wanna know why I wouldn’t fuck him! Change your drawers, bro!” x 2 bonus
-2
POW
Ann shades Sandoval ““It’s not always picking up his underwear… sometimes it’s cool stuff. Like, when I go get his car washed, I’ll like… go through the drive-thru and get some french fries”
4
POW
Power Move: eavsdropping on Ann and Ariana, especially when he’s standing over the literal noise machine he got so Ariana would stop eavsdropping on him
3
POW
Invited to water tasting
1
SCA
Lala being nice to Sandoval by extending invite
2
POW
Toasting / cheers at water tasting
2
POW
Sandoval shades Ariana “tacky”
2
POW
Power Move: Sandoval puts Ann on a break
-2
POW
Power Move: ariana “it’s my Tonal”
-2
POW
Ariana shades Sandoval “the attempted dog murderer was eavesdropping”
-2
SCA
Ariana threatens to call 9-1-1 on Sandoval
2
POW
Sandoval shades Ariana “Ariana you haven’t emptied the litterbox for your cat in 2 years”
3
SCA
Heated argument between Ariana and Sandoval
-2
POW
Ariana shades Sandoval “do not go in my room. that is the only safe space I have in that home cuz you fucking wrecked it”
2
POW
Sandoval shades Ariana “put on your big girl panties and respond to an email”
-4
POW
Ariana shades Sandoval “careless and callous about the house that was my fucking dream house for my fucking children” x2 extra shitty re: children
13
POW
Early exit (2), was screamed at to leave (2), stormed out (3), and comes back to yell more (3)!! and storms out AGAIN! (3)
2
POW
Sandoval shades Ariana “you already got everything, Ariana, you got all the campaigns and now you’re gonna take my assistant?”
-2
POW
Ariana shades Sandoval “you ruin my life, my home and then fucking attempt to kill my fucking dog”
2
POW
Sandoval shades Ariana “her dream home… for her kids?… okay”
2
POW
Sandoval shades Mya “the reason she gets into stuff like that is because she hasn’t been properly trained”
1
SCA
Supported by Schwartz
6
SCA
Sandoval starts rumor (5) and gaslights (1) about Ariana “dude did you see the rage that comes out of her?! that’s what I dealt with my entire relationship. that fucking scary fucking rage all the fucking time”
-4
POW
Ariana shades Sandoval “I’m not capable of having a productive conversation with a fucking sociopath, disgusting, psycho, narcassist, gaslighter, piece of shit, fucking person” x2
-1
STY
small women’s sweater vest from zara
-2
POW
Kyle Chan shades Sandoval “he talks like he’s the expert and then he got caught with the phone.”
-1
STY
Talking about the skybar singles event “right in our age range… maybe a little younger”… UGH.
2
POW
Sandoval shades Katie “whats that hypocrite up to?”
2
POW
Sandoval shades Katie “katie has made her entire adult life all about slut shaming women”
1
SCA
Sex joke “i like a meaty oyster”
2
POW
Oyster Toast / cheers
2
POW
Sandoval shades Ariana about keeping the house up “if i don’t do it, no one will”
1
SCA
Schwartz yet again being nice and supportive of sandoval at beach
2
SCA
Schwartz and kyle chan being nice and supportive
2
POW
Sandoval shades Ariana “I don’t even know how her ass gets wiped that girl is so fucking lazy”
1
SCA
Gaslighting “it gets fucking annoying to have her like talk shit about me being a certain way, when she literally is the laziest fucking person”
2
POW
Sandoval shading Ariana “Ariana is really busy. She has like a looooot of things in the works. I think they’re flying her to the moon and the day after she meets the pope. so i’m sure it’s a lot for her to handle house hunting”
1
SCA
Gaslighting “i heard she doesn’t even want the house, she’s just fighting me on it out of spite”
1
SCA
Defended by Brock to Scheana
2
POW
Full name said by Katie in confessional
3
POW
Invited to beach day
1
STY
I like the stripey crocheted shirt
-2
POW
James shades Ariana and Sandoval “so today for the beach here’s the rules! I’m drawin a line in the sand… literally!”
-1
SCA
Raquel haunts beach day x7 ariana katie brock scheana schwartz ally james sandoval
-2
POW
Brock shades sandoval “it was more like a recipeient for flirtiness”… “is that what you told raquel when you guys started that whole thing?”
-2
POW
Ariana shades Sandoval “yeah well the conversation subject matter is disgusting because of you, so maybe have it somewhere else”
2
POW
Power move: hires his friend craig to do assistant work while he suspends ann
-2
POW
Power move: katie tells sandoval she’s ready to hire his assistant
1
SCA
Gaslighting: “there are protocols!”
-2
POW
Katie shades Sandoval “HR? you have a human resources department?”
2
POW
Full name by Ariana
-2
POW
Ariana shades Sandoval “and if you did have a HR department.. you’d be fucked, dude.”
-2
POW
Power move Ariana against Sandoval: the animals are mine. i paid the adoption fees
3
SCA
Heated bickering at beach between sandoval / ariana
-2
POW
Ariana shades Sandoval “because he is such a misogynist, he requires men -because that is who he respects – to put him in his place”
1
SCA
Defending sandoval to ariana “he’s sitting there all summer with his tail tucked between his legs”
1
SCA
brock defends Sandoval to Ariana “you think he’s not taking it? he left.”
5
POW
early exit, storms off at beach
-2
POW
Ariana shades sandoval and lala “lala i don’t need you to be devil’s advocate. the devil has enough advocates. he’s the devil and you’re his advocate”
Schwartz brings gift hat for Summer and gift plant for Scheana and Brock
1
SCA
Sex joke: “gulp of fresh air.. it’s like what i used to say about sex with katie”
-2
POW
Brock shades Schwartz “well she is doing it more often, just not with you!”
-1
SCA
Haunted by Raquel: Schwartz, Brock, Scheana and Summer Moon while Scheana is in the cold plunge
-4
POW
Katie savagely shades Schwartz “Tom can be upset if he wants! But at the end of the day, should I feel bad? No. It’s not like we had an agreement, right?”
1
STY
Stylish grown up water tasting green sweater
-1
STY
For those slides
3
POW
Invited to water tasting
2
POW
Toasting / cheers at water tasting
-2
POW
Katie shades Schwartz “I’m wearing the Schwartz pants and walking a mile in them”
-1
SCA
Haunted by Raquel: katie and schwartz
3
SCA
Heated bickering between Katie and schwartz at water tasting
1
STY
Drinks
-2
POW
Katie shades Schwartz “until you wanna make better choices in like… clothing…”
-1
SCA
Being supportive of Sandoval on phone
1
STY
I’m attracted to Schwartz in this baseball t
4
STY
drinks x4
2
POW
sex joke “I can’t do it, it’s too big… that’s what katie said last night”
2
POW
Oyster Toast / cheers
-1
SCA
Yet again being nice/ supportive of sandoval at dinner
-1
SCA
Yet again being nice/ supportive of sandoval at beach
3
POW
Invited to beach day
1
STY
Gift: Schwartz brings scheana a capri sun
-1
SCA
Raquel haunts beach day x7 ariana katie brock scheana schwartz ally james sandoval
+5 Vail Award, for Dayna doing absolutely nothing at that water tasting.
7
POW
Appears (4), Invited to water tasting (3), Dayna
1
STY
Cute black romper, Dayna
2
POW
Toasting / cheers at water tasting
1
STY
Drinks, Dayna
4
POW
Appears in 2013 flashback, Kristen
4
POW
Appears in flashback: Dayna (11 hours earlier)
5
SCA
Subject of new rumor started by LVP. Normally this would be a negative point event, but because LVP is literally telling everyone Max has a huge dick, he defininitely gains +5 instead.
Lying to Sandoval’s face about why she is there to meet with Ariana! on camera! x2 for being extra bold
2
POW
Biz opportunity – job interview with Ariana
4
POW
Ann savagely airs out Sandoval: “… but it does have it’s cons. Sometimes I have to pick up his dirty socks and underwear” x2 bonus
2
POW
Ann shades Sandoval ““It’s not always picking up his underwear… sometimes it’s cool stuff. Like, when I go get his car washed, I’ll like… go through the drive-thru and get some french fries”
-2
POW
Power Move: eavesdropping on Ann / Ariana,
-2
POW
Power Move: Sandoval suspends Ann
1
POW
Appears: Lucinda, interior designer
1
STY
Stylish black dress client house call meeting, lucinda
8
POW
New job: Job offer to do work for SAH
-2
POW
Power Move: Sandoval hires his friend Craig to do assistant work while he suspends Ann